you win again, gameday.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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