Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
