google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
