I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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