So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
