I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
