My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
wow bdsm is so cute
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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