i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
