I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
