So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
