what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
