It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
