the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
