Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you would pick up someone in the library
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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