The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
