I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
