do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
