it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
