I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize