If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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