whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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