And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
vagina is talking i cant
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
