nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
