no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't turn off my feet"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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