I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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