Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
