Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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