i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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