Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
