What did we do last night that was yellow?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
