Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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