is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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