Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
