and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
