you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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