well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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