But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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