We're facebook friends in real life
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
