If that was your dad, he is hot
Your dad touched me again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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