ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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