haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
