Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I touched a dick in church today
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
