I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
