at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
