When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
