So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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