If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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