I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
