My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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