But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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