Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
