Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
