sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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