i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
