did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This house was built for laser tag.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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