I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
