i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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