420 ftw
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
