First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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