Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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