Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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