I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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